The surprising correlation between coaching, therapy and your relationship
What's one lesson from coaching and therapy that resonates deeply with equity at home?
Solutions that we create for ourselves are the ones that will stick. But sometimes you need a nudge in the right direction.
Have you noticed what happens when someone tells you what to do?
“Go and take a nap”
“just tell your boss what you think”
“you need a break, book a babysitter”
The chances are, you probably think they’re right, but you don’t actually do it.
Why not?
Because it’s not your solution. Your needs have been validated, your stress has been heard, but you haven’t been asked what you want to do about it. What will work for your situation and needs. What do you really want to have happen.
The same can be true for building an equitable partnership. Yes, we can push out tools / guidance / templates by the dozen - but they will only really work when you make it yours. When it fits your needs and situation.
This is also because every partnership dynamic is different. Our personalities, preferences, biases, beliefs, values. This means that what works for one family might not work for another.
This is one reason why the tools / templates and downloads don’t work. Because having a facilitator to guide you through making the solution really yours is missing. But also, it’s what I loved from our latest Equal-ish episode this week, talking to Hayley Swenson, Director at the Better Life Lab, New America. Their approach to supporting equity at home is all about experimentation. Creating small nudge experiments that allow allow space for couples to create the solution that will fit your family.
Remember, when one partner is overwhelmed in a relationship, no one is thriving. But even the partner doing less often isn’t happy either.
You don't need to embed complex new things to find your balance, but you do need to test out different ways of communicating and sharing the load.
🎧 Listen to our conversation with Hayley Swenson to find out more about nudging your way to equity. Listen to episode 28 here → [click]